John Oliver has a number of theories about Texas’ creepy seashore dolls

Over time, John Oliver’s Final Week Tonight deep dives have helped to coach us concerning the on a regular basis horrors of our world, from voter suppression to ransomware and predatory “ministries” taking benefit of the dire state of the U.S. healthcare trade. However by some means, he has judged this “the worst factor [he has] ever seen”.

In a web-only section, a horrified Oliver introduces his viewers to South Texas’ most nightmare-inducing seashore trash: the handfuls of semi-intact dolls, doll heads, and different doll components that wash up on the shore with alarming regularity, empty options worn clean by the waves and orifices occupied by malignant colonies of sea life. Featured gamers embrace Oliver’s “private enemy, Barnacle Child”, one he is named Anthony, and a doll that he factors out is kind of clearly a intercourse doll, judging by its carnival-clown-like mouth opening: “That doll is totally different than the others in a significant, sensible manner!”

After all, like several eerie phenomenon on this age of fixed info, there is a useful scientific rationalization for why this retains occurring. And naturally, it does not mollify Oliver one bit, and he descends into doll-inspired insanity brainstorming how the cursed coastal particles could be faraway from this airplane of existence.

“Do we have to break some sort of curse? That may make sense,” he rants. “Is there a particular volcano now we have to throw them into?” There’s additionally a posh principle concerning the ghost of a Victorian youngster with the Satan in her coronary heart, haunting the waters of the Gulf. And admittedly, given the inconceivable scope of the various, many issues going through American society proper now, exorcising a 400-mile-long swathe of the Gulf Coast of sinister toys sounds completely doable at this level.