The dateable weapons of ‘Boyfriend Dungeon’, ranked

Love is a battlefield, so it is essential to decide on your weapon rigorously. That is particularly the case in Boyfriend Dungeon, a brand new dungeon crawler/courting sim wherein you date swords that remodel into people. As a result of why not?

The distinctive indie sport’s solid of dateable bae-blades is comparatively various, giving gamers a wide range of romanceable choices to go well with completely different inclinations. Boyfriend Dungeon even permits for extra platonic relationships, if not one of the accessible weapons whet your stone.

Nevertheless, whereas the sport does provide the luxurious of selection, not all blades are equal, and a few dueling companions are higher left of their sheaths. In ascending order, here is our rating of Boyfriend Dungeon‘s potential paramours.

Beware: There will likely be spoilers.

7. Sunder

This man is the worst. Polyamory is just polyamory if everybody is aware of about it; in any other case it is simply dishonest. Sure, I used to be additionally seeing different swords, however on the similar time I did not intentionally disguise it and lie about it. When Sunder was caught, he was primarily simply sorry I came upon.

Sunder is a secretive, emotionally unavailable fuckboi who clearly solely needed me for my physique. The dude has completely nothing going for him except for being bodily match — he is not even good at his job, which is not the mark of (or dangerous) individual, however it will no less than be one thing. He is a pile of trash that you just hold digging into considering you may unearth some secret treasure, solely to seek out that the deeper layers are simply much more trash. 0/10, dump him.

6. Sawyer

Congratulations, you have simply adopted a baby. Credit score: Kitfox Video games

Do not get me unsuitable, Sawyer is a pleasant sufficient individual and appears to imply effectively. However for the needs of romance? No. Positively not. They seem to be a broke school scholar who makes use of you to cheat on exams and might’t even determine find out how to boil an egg. Nothing about that’s interesting.

Like advantageous, I do know that everybody has gaps of their schooling someplace. However in the event you lack the initiative to google, the notice to know that you just didn’t invent cooking, and the frequent sense to chorus from spiking somebody’s meals with cough syrup, then I am sorry, however we won’t dangle. Sawyer is a strolling catastrophe and never in a cute manner — in no way a associate you can depend on. They’re principally a baby. I don’t wish to date a baby.

5. Rowan

I can not reside in Rowan’s parallel actuality. Credit score: Kitfox Video games

Rowan and I haven’t got many intersecting pursuits, which makes a romance a bit harder. For instance, whereas I’m terminally on-line, Rowan has all of the tech savvy of a 87-year-old retiree whose biggest ardour is antiquing. Additionally they check with their cellphone as a “black prism,” which is irritatingly pretentious sufficient to offset any goodwill they garnered by not being straight-up rubbish.

This reclusive mystic lives life based on their very own rhythm, which is truthful sufficient, however it does make it troublesome to vibe with them. Spending time with Rowan feels complicated and off-putting, like neither of you might be ever actually connecting or understanding one another. They’re dwelling in a very completely different world, whereas I need my associate right here with me.

4. Pocket

It is a cat. Credit score: Kitfox Video games

It is troublesome to price Pocket in opposition to Boyfriend Dungeon‘s different weapons, as a result of he’s a cat and thus can’t be measured by typical relationship analysis metrics. As a companion, Pocket is serviceable. He is not a very affectionate feline, shunning makes an attempt to pet him till he will get to know you higher. However he does have a pure benefit in that he’s a heat, gentle fluffball by design.

Pocket is not essentially the most scintillating conversational associate. It typically feels such as you’re left to guess what he needs from you, despite the fact that his comforting stage of cognitive consciousness skirts the realm of the uncanny valley. This cat offers all of the strain of a social interplay with a fraction of the reward, which is not an incredible trade-off. It is good having Pocket round, however he cannot actually evaluate to a human.

3. Valeria

Enjoyable and thrilling, however in all probability not a long-term relationship. Credit score: Kitfox Video games

Valeria is an journey in human (and dagger) kind. A rebellious artist, she’s the cool lady at college who everybody needs to hang around with on weekends. Not the favored one who has Homecoming Queen within the bag, or the delinquent who skips class and smokes behind the bathroom block. Valeria is the assured, magnetic one who respects individuals over nonsensical guidelines, and at all times makes whoever she’s speaking to really feel like they’re simply as attention-grabbing as her.

The principle drawback is that it is exhausting to inform in the event you’re really particular to Valeria. Although a romance together with her is interesting, you would be consistently anxious you are not sufficient to maintain her , particularly as soon as the preliminary pleasure dies down. Valeria appears like she does not wish to be tied down by something, and is after extra out of life than anybody individual may fulfill. Once more, polyamory is a factor, however on this case it feels such as you would possibly simply be a aspect character among the many rotating solid of Valeria’s dazzling life.

2. Seven

Not as a lot of a jerk as he may have been. Credit score: Kitfox Video games

If I have been scripting this rating in the beginning of Boyfriend Dungeon, Seven would land someplace close to the underside. However Verona Seashore’s resident Ok-pop star grew on me a lot that if the upward development in affection continued on the similar trajectory, he may finally take first place.

After I first met Seven he was so disinterested, disdainful, and self-important that I puzzled why he even bothered to textual content me. I am not thinking about chasing after somebody who is not into me, so our dates felt like a waste of each our time. However as he steadily opened up it turned clear that there is a candy, shy, down-to-earth individual hiding beneath his melancholy, cynicism, and negativity. I used to be helplessly charmed by Seven’s tentative, childlike pleasure on the teddy bear and cupcake I made him, in addition to his fond nostalgia for his easy childhood reminiscences. And do not even get me began on the peeled apples.

Seven in all probability should not be courting simply but — he’d profit extra from a number of strong associates to begin. However I can see that as his psychological well being retains enhancing, and he grows happier inside himself, he’ll finally turn into an incredible boyfriend. He is in a foul place proper now, however that dangerous place is not who he’s.

1. Isaac

The true ending. Credit score: Kitfox Video games

I did not suppose I would like Isaac when first I noticed his official profile. Somebody who most enjoys haute delicacies, philosophy, and meditation appeared too straight-laced and put collectively — not a date you can loosen up and share pizza with whereas binge-watching MasterChef Australia.

But Isaac stunned me along with his cool but playful angle, and utterly received me over along with his avid use of the social gathering popper emoji. Not solely did his keen adoption of my urged emoji present apparent consideration for my opinion, it additionally demonstrated a extra informal, enjoyable aspect of him, in addition to an nearly harmless enthusiasm to study and take a look at new issues. We may positively share a pizza.

Isaac is mature, hardworking, and emotionally accessible, plus he respects his mother and father and cares about his group. As if that weren’t sufficient, he additionally owns a penthouse and can cook dinner you eggs within the morning, as a result of he really is aware of how to try this. Frankly, in the event you do not date him then you definitely in all probability simply aren’t prepared for an actual dedication. One social gathering popper from Isaac is price a thousand hearts from anybody else.

Boyfriend Dungeon is out now on Xbox One, Xbox Collection X/S, Nintendo Change, and PC.